May 8, 2007
The rumor had floated around suburban fifth-grade circles all year, so a curious 10-year-old from St. Pius School in Lombard decided to find out the truth.
During a field trip to the Robert Crown Center for Health Education in Hinsdale, where his class was listening to the “Michael and Linda” puberty education program, the scrawny, baby-faced boy raised his hand and asked:
“Does drinking Mountain Dew kill sperm?”
The room full of boys, clad in their Catholic school uniforms, rocked with laughter. One boy buried his face into his crossed arms.
The children gave the teacher their full attention when he answered, clearly anxious to hear what he would say.
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“No, it does not,” explained teacher Jon Scoles, of Roselle, who said he’s heard that question a lot lately from suburban kids.
Scoles calmly explained that some of the soda’s chemicals, like caffeine, carry potential dangers. But he assured them that, no, their future chances at paternity would not be diminished by drinking Mountain Dew.
Meanwhile, in a separate room, there was giggling among St. Pius’ fifth-grade girls.
“You’re entering a phase of your life now that begins with the letter ‘P.’ Does anyone know what it is?” teacher Nadege Claude asked.
Silence.
The girls, a few with braces and others wearing headbands, looked at each other with embarrassed grins. A few pulled their long-sleeved sweatshirts over their hands and covered their mouths, hiding their expressions or blushing faces.
Then, from the back of the room, came a meek guess: “Pregnant?”
“No,” Claude answered. “Puberty.”
And so begins the process of teaching 10- and 11-year-olds about how their bodies are about to change. About body odor and pubic hair. About nocturnal emissions and menstruation.
This month, many fifth-grade public school students get a two-week health lesson on puberty, the first of several times they’ll hear about sex and reproduction in school.
The importance is high. The use of taboo words is unavoidable. And for everyone involved, it’s usually awkward.
And hilarious.
“There’s something inherently funny about it, no matter what age you are,” said Rocky Kleinschmidt, who teaches health at May Whitney Elementary School in Lake Zurich.
The ‘ew!’ factor
Controlling the students’ giggles is almost impossible, because words like “period” and “erection” - not to mention the rarely spoken, clinical terms for reproductive parts - are regularly used.
Some teachers allow the laughter; others prohibit it. One May Whitney teacher starts the class by reading the words that will be used and then giving students five minutes to laugh about them. After that, no more laughing.
The giggling usually subsides after a day or two, teachers say, because the students are hungry for information. At this age, most of what they know has come from older siblings, friends or the media.
As a result, misinformation is rampant, leaving teachers to set the record straight.
Scoles, for example, has calmed the fears of a boy growing a full mustache.
“I’ve actually had a kid say, ‘The man places his pennies into the Virginia.’ I couldn’t believe it,” said Brenda Bollman, who’s taught health at May Whitney for the past 16 years, once when she was eight months pregnant.
She recalls standing with her protruding belly, explaining in textbook terms how life begins, and getting icky stares from the students.
“You could see them figuring it out. And then they were looking at me going, ‘I can’t believe you actually did that! Ew!’” she said.
At the Robert Crown Center, where more than 100,000 students a year are taught about puberty and sex, Scoles is regularly asked what Viagra and erectile dysfunction are by 10-year-olds.
“They’re seeing this stuff on TV, and they want to know,” he said.
Parents, too, field questions for kids in this age group. Erika Rico’s 10-year-old stepson asked, “What’s androgyny?” after watching an episode of “South Park.”
“It means, you need to stop watching ‘South Park,’æ” the St. Charles woman answered. After that, she told him the truth.
“I try to be very open and honest about things,” she said. “I like that he feels comfortable enough to ask me about this stuff, but I’m still not sure he gets some of it.”
How kids react
When learning about puberty, kids typically react in one of four ways: Either they’re know-it-alls, shy and embarrassed, inquisitive or thoroughly grossed out.
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When Scoles explained to the St. Pius boys that their sweat would soon start to smell bad, and that it’s called “body odor,” a boy immediately raised his hand.
“I have that!” he said proudly.
A few years ago at May Whitney, a fifth-grade boy showed the class his single armpit hair.
“They’re generally really into it,” Kleinschmidt says. “Sometimes they’re excited to say the words.”
Adults at the Robert Crown Center, who teach this full time, are prepared for the awkward, out-there and personal questions that usually come along with this educational process.
For public school teachers, who sometimes get drafted to teach the health section, the answers tend to have more “ums” and “You’ll need to ask a parent about that.”
Personal questions often put teachers and parents on the hot seat, leaving them scrambling for an honest but appropriate response.
Kleinschmidt was once asked in front of a class if he’d ever experienced what they had just been talking about. He paused for a moment, but then smoothly answered, “Well, I’m an adult now. And my private life is something we’re not here to discuss.”
Today’s fifth-graders ask far more questions than they did when Bollman started teaching health in the early 1990s.
“Kids are much more willing to share and ask now. In the beginning, it was ‘Read this’ or ‘Watch this’ and be done with it,’” she said. “Kids are sometimes more comfortable asking us than asking their parents.”
At this age, questions related to moral issues - like, “Can boys like other boys?” “Can two men have a baby?” or “Do condoms work?” - are almost always deferred to parents.
While discussing puberty can make for an uncomfortable two weeks for teachers, most also find it extremely rewarding. Not only does it bond them with the students, but the teachers take pleasure in watching kids transform from giggly and immature to knowledgeable and mature.
“They trust you so much more when the class is over,” May Whitney teacher Dana White said.
“Plus, history teachers don’t go into the teachers’ lounge with these kinds of stories,” Kleinschmidt added.
Tough for parents
Sex education also can begin at home. While many parents dread giving their child “the talk,” others are calm and straightforward about it. They’ll give their child a book, or initiate an ask-me-anything conversation.
For them, it’s no big deal.
“It’s not that bad. The tougher speech is the 19-year-old speech,” joked parent Darryl Leschniak, of Schaumburg.
The awkward subject matter is just part of what makes the birds-and-the-bees talks difficult for parents. Another factor is the acknowledgment that a child is becoming an adult. After years of trying to protect children from sexual messages, the time has come to explain what they mean.
Lee Spiro, a father of three from St. Charles, tried taking his kids out for dinner last week with plans to have “the talk.” His children range in age from 9 to 12.
“I started talking and they said, ‘Dad! No! We’re at Portillo’s!’ And I said, ‘Where else should we go? The library?’” Spiro said. “I’ve tried to do it in bits and pieces. It’s tough, though. The kids know a lot more than you think they know.”
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